Cloud 9 Minus One

In a cave temple in Dehradun, there lived a priest. He was a Bengali, far away from his native land. He lived in the cave, and cared nothing about what went on above his head. All day he tended to the shivling, and the idol shone with all the love and care showered upon it. I went to see the temple one day early in the morning, before the sun had risen. The cave was dark. The priest had switched on the sole incandescent light in the cave, and was hanging up his laundry on a line that stretched across one corner, just next to his string cot. He continued to do this, ignoring my presence. I let him ignore me.
I haven’t ignored anyone in a long time. I haven’t continued doing whatever I’m doing while someone else imposes upon me. I let them impose. I let others decide for me what I should be doing. Yes, that’s what I do. Let them decide. In common parlance it is called living by the rules of society. Or compromising.
I wish I weren’t like that. I wish I were Jim Morrison, strumming his guitar, making great music, and letting the rest of the world go where it wanted to. I wish I were the mad scientist, stuck in his lab, conducting experiments that were of no obvious use to anyone. Or not.
Striking one’s own path, dancing to one’s own tune. How many of us manage to do that? How many of us flout the rules set by society to chart our own lonely course? It requires courage. How many of us have it? The question to ask is do I want to be Ruts or Priya? And I swear, I don’t know. It’s been a long time since I was absolutely alone, a solitary figure with courage for company.