Cloud 9 Minus One

‘I wish I had known,’ said Divya. ‘Just a hint.’ And she started crying, small sobs that were threatening to rise to large gulps any moment. After some time she settled down, and took a deep breath to drown out the sobbing. She wiped her tears with the back of her hand.
‘I knew nothing,’ she said with a dash of her normal composure. ‘None of us did. Three years ago, it was like we couldn’t get enough of each other. Akash and Ajay and Chitra and another couple of people. And me, of course. In college we did everything together. Studied, ate, chatted, talked about our parents and siblings and bitched about our former girlfriends/boyfriends. Everything.’ She looked at me, though I thought she was seeing something else. ‘Do you understand everything?’
I nodded but Divya wasn’t looking now. ‘And then poof! Gone. All gone. The day we left Nasik, it was as though none of us knew each other.’ The sobs threaten to overcome her again. ‘I can barely remember what Akash looked like. Can you imagine? He was my b..b..best friend! Just three years ago! And now he’s dead.’ The sobs threaten to overcome her again. ‘Cyanide! Where did he get cyanide from? And why, why did he do it? What could have gone wrong? How come none of knew anything? And I checked. None of the others knew either. I mean, what kind of friends were we? Tell me that. One of us was in trouble, and we didn’t have a clue.’
Divya dissolved into tears again. I had no answer to give her, no reassurance to offer. I couldn’t possibly speak my mind to her, that that’s what friendship is about, that you take from it what you choose and give to it what you choose. Being a friend means making choices. Akash made his, and Divya wasn’t it.